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Post by Chance on May 20, 2016 12:39:48 GMT
(Originally was going to be posted prior to Anya leaving, but now amended)
Chance has been mostly quiet during the entire exchange, though at one point he looks at his watch just to see what time it is and perhaps wondering where Dr. Stake was. At first, he found it amusing, perhaps understanding what was going on. However, as the conversation escalates into a pissing contest and finally into a shouting match, he has had enough. Stuffing the last of a piece of samosa into his mouth, he pushes off the counter on which he was leaning. There is no strong emotional state that's obvious on his face, but as he watches Anya storm out, there's a look of sadness...and perhaps resignation as he turns to Alex.
"Way to be a wanker, Doc. If you didn't want to lead. You should have just said something, but winding up Anya like that wasn't what I expected today." He lets out a chuff sound, almost a laugh but more of an internal *I told you so*. He looks pointedly at Alex, very steady in his gaze. "Let's get one thing straight, Alex, it isn't what *you* need, it's what *we* need." Though he expects that statement to say it all, at least in his mind, he continues, "Maybe you couldn't see what went down with the marauder and the Black Suits running the other way, but if you had you wouldn't be testing her combat skills." His fists clench and unclench several times and there's a cooling to his expression. Several seconds go by of slow intakes of breath before the musician tacks on a final note, "When you're ready to lead by example, give another call, *Doc*." The last word has some emphasis on it.
He looks over Alex's shoulder at Venisha, "Thanks for having us. Sorry it went all sixes and sevens on us this fast." With that, he walks towards the door, and perceptive listeners may here him mutter "Just after I told her why I trusted him..." as he leaves.
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Post by Dr. Stake on May 20, 2016 12:45:30 GMT
Dr. Stake knocks on the door and enters cautiously.
"Am sorry being late. There was incident with monkey and intern. They can be so jealous of pickles sometimes. Needing to remember for future: "Do not let interns take things from monkeys even if supplies are needed for lab work. Is so difficult, keeping eyes on them, but rewarding in end. Sometimes have to settle scraps, sometimes have to let them row, sometimes pick monkey poo from intern's eye. Such things happen in groups."
He looks around, sees the state of things as Anya and Chance brush past him.
"But not needing me to tell you, I see."
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Post by Chance on May 20, 2016 14:19:07 GMT
Chance looks around to see where Anya managed to get off to...
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Post by alexander on May 20, 2016 14:24:14 GMT
Alexander watches as Anya leaves, seemingly impassive. He tenses as Chance continues, but doesn't say anything. But then Dr. Stake enters and speaks, and Alex's face contorts up with pure unadulterated rage. You don't think you've actually seen him angry before.
He glares at Venisha. "Fuck you for actually having your shit together and being able to act like a real human being."
He strides to the door and glares at Stake, momentarily losing his focus as he stops to think for a moment, then snapping back into his fury. "Fuck you for being so damn likeable that it's hard to stay angry at you even though you put on even more of a show than I do! Also, fuck the insightful anecdotes that you weave in with the crazy!"
He storms out the door, still not wearing a shirt, and quickly passes Chance. Seeing Anya halfway down the street, he turns and jogs down an alleyway. "Fuck you Chance, for being a goddamn mirror! And trying to act like my conscience! And for actually being good at it!"
He sprints down the alley, cutting through side streets until he rushes out in front of Anya, almost crashing into her. He staggers a bit, panting as if he had run ten miles instead of a few hundred yards. "And especially fuck you, for actually making me care about you guys and want to protect you, even if it's in my own stupid-ass, screwed up way!"
He sits down in the middle of the street, breathing heavily. "How the fuck do you get this angry all the time? I went three rounds with Venisha and this is more exhausting!"
He tries to slow his breathing, then gasps for air. "And she hit me with a coffee table!"
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Venisha
Junior Member
Completely cool with having last-minute house guests. Completely.
Posts: 67 
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Post by Venisha on May 20, 2016 14:27:46 GMT
(Meanwhile, back at the flat...)
Venisha looks at Stake, her palms turn upward in a gesture of helplessness. "There's food if you want it. I'm...." She trails off, uncertain of what to say.
Finally she decides to walk back to her bedroom, slamming the door shut.
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Post by Dr. Stake on May 20, 2016 14:49:07 GMT
"Ooo! Aloo Vindaloo!"
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Post by Anya on May 20, 2016 15:01:39 GMT
Anya stares at Alex a moment before dissolving in hysterical giggles. As her laughter starts to turn into sobs, she sits down heavily next to him, covering her face and trying to pull herself together.
"Anger is easy, easy, easy. Everything else is hard." Still with her face covered, but calmer now, "I spent years and years being angry at everything. It's so easy to go back to that anger, and so hard to go back to being this me. Please don't make me do that without good reason. Please."
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Post by Chance on May 20, 2016 15:11:52 GMT
Chance is stunned by Alex's comment and it shows on his face. The reasons he's stunned are not as expected...he's not stunned because Alex yelled or swore...no he's stunned because he didn't think Alex got it. When he watches the doctor sprint in the direction of Anya, a broad smile crosses his face. Things will get resolved...or someone's coming back with some broken ribs...or both. Either way, he's sure they will both be back. So, he heads back into the apartment and looks at Dr. Stake, "Try the samosa, it's delicious."
Casually, he walks back over towards one of the chairs and sits down, looking back and forth, "Where did Venisha go?"
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Post by Dr. Stake on May 20, 2016 15:28:22 GMT
"Bedroomph" Stake says with a full mouth, and nods towards the door.
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Post by alexander on May 20, 2016 16:25:57 GMT
Alex looks up, but doesn't look at Anya. "Oh shit. I am so sorry. I have my causality all backwards. I though the emotional lability was a symptom of your addiction. I've basically been pushing your buttons to see if you could control it, but you already are. All that vacillation is your way of coping with anger issues."
There's anger back on his face now, and he laughs bitterly. "Aggravating old traumas, all for the greater good. I guess all that Technocratic training dies real hard."
He leans over and hugs Anya. "I'm sorry. I fucked up big time, I probably will again. The better part of the last decade of my life has been more stick than carrot, and a shit ton of tough love. You'd think I would be sick of it, but apparently it's become my default setting."
He rests his chin on Anya's shoulder. "Now I really wish Venisha had more confidence in herself. She's be way better at this... aaaaaaannd now I'm realizing that telling her I was angry at her for having her shit together was probably twice as bad as poking you with the anger stick. Fuck me."
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Post by Anya on May 20, 2016 17:10:16 GMT
Anya tilts her head to rest it against Alex's and relaxes into the hug. "I don't know. It's pretty obvious you're actually mad at yourself, not me and her. But you'd still better grovel when you get back in there." She makes no move to let him leave.
Tentatively, "I've had more feelings than I could deal with since...since I was 13. Anger was the easiest one to understand. Later, heroin dimmed the anger. At least for a little bit. Being with the Ecstatics has helped me find all those other emotions I thought I didn't have anymore."
"I know, I know, how hard habits are to break. But if you care about me in the least little bit, don't use tough love on me. I've had enough for one lifetime and I promise it doesn't work. At least, not for me."
She puts her hand on his arm and soothingly, almost absentmindedly rubs her thumb against his arm. "You did fuck up. But you figured it out and listened and fixed it. And I assume you won't fuck up in this way again. That's the best I could ask for. Though, in the future, could apologies not come with a fuck you at the beginning? I think that might be confusing in the long run." She laughs quietly, but genuinely.
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Post by alexander on May 20, 2016 18:05:38 GMT
He doesn't move his head from Anya's shoulder as he sighs. "I don't need a mastery of time to see there's a lot of grovelling in my future."
He's quiet for a moment, then pulls his head back slightly, looking directly into her eyes with an unnerving intensity. "I've mistrusted you since the night after we brought Lucas to Avalon for an entirely unfair reason. I obviously can't be friends with anyone from before I Awakened, and the men who trained me...well, I can see them as comrades and brother-in-arms, but never friends. When I came to London, I was alone, but I met someone at an stage show. He was an Ecstatic, and a mind mage, like you. He was out there, dancing, center of everything, much like you were. We were close for a while, and we had so much fun...but it turned out he was pretty terrible. He hurt a lot of people, and if I had done something sooner, I could have saved some lives. Instead, I let my emotions get in the way, and couldn't even save him in the end."
He breaks eye contact, looking away. "You aren't anything like him. For one, if you hurt someone, they'd be picking their teeth off the floor."
He sighs again and starts to stand. "There's no point in trying tough love on any of us. I need to step out of my comfort zone and try to find a way to do this that is more like a friend and less like a drill sergeant. Also, with less fuck yous."
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Post by Anya on May 20, 2016 18:46:15 GMT
Anya stands up as well. Quietly, she says, "I'm sorry about your friend, or whatever he was to you. And the people he hurt. You mistrusted me because I reminded you of someone who did a lot of harm in your life. I'm not going to blame you for that."
Seriously, "I don't trust Alex-the-Leader because putting my faith in someone with any control over my life has worked out exactly once so far. And tonight was proving that distrust right." Softening, "But whether I want to or not, I trust Alex-the-Person. You're so smart you come right back around to being an idiot, but you're trying. So, as a...friend. If you see me doing harm to others, talk to me. If you still think I'm doing wrong after that, then...I give you permission to stop me." Looking directly in his eyes, "You have good instincts and a good heart. Stop getting in the way of them."
She grabs his hand and starts walking back to Venisha's. "So, who else do you owe apologies to?"
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Post by alexander on May 20, 2016 19:51:46 GMT
He shrugs, walking along with Anya. "I don't trust Alex-the-Leader. That dude is a jerk. Makes me wonder about Chance's judgment, since he put me in charge. As far as apologies, I said mostly positive stuff to Stake and Chance, but it was also delivered with hearty fuck yous in the tone of insults. Then there are the neighbors who had to put up with all my bullshit, though I imagine they're probably leery of speaking to the shirtless screaming man. Oh, and Venisha's floor, for how much damage my face did to it."
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Post by Anya on May 20, 2016 20:15:59 GMT
Anya giggles. "So, in order, apologies to Venisha, the guys, and then the floor. I don't think apologizing to the neighbors would endear you to them, even in your shirtless state. And you could do worse than to trust his judgment. He sees more than most." She smiles fondly.
As they reach the door, she heads in first, smiling brightly, if not as widely as usual. She grabs Chance, forces him to sit on the couch, and lays down, putting her head in his lap. "I require affection. Alex - go find Venisha."
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